SMS Joke 5

 

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

Frnd1: u have married with 1 of the twin sisters, how do u recognize ur wife? Frnd2: why should I ? : )

Sardar to Mali : Go and water the garden. Mali : It's raining outside. Sardar : Bloody don't give excuses. Take umbrella and go.

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Lady1:"What do u think bout husbands?" Lady2:"They r like OWLS..!" Lady1:"How?"Lady2:"They see good things in their wives only in the night.

Srdr : What is the Guarantee for this mirror? Shopkeeper : Put Down from 100 feet of height. The mirror will not Break for the First 99 feets. Srdr:Wow

A new Boy joins class_ He finds two Boys similar in appearance. Asks one of them Are you both twins...? Boy replies No. We are neighbour

A boy saw a Beautiful Gal. He went & kissed her... GAL : "Stupid...! What're U doing...??" boy : "B Com final year...And U ??"

Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

What is D diff. betwn a Secretary&a Personal Secretary? Secretary says,"Good Morning Sir"&Personal Secretary says,"Oh my God!Its morninG sir.

Technical question: Where u can find mangoes? ...no it is nt in mango tree ..shop?no wrong.. Ans: where WOMENgoes there MANgoes

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

Q:Why most men prefer to kiss women's lips? Ans:Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman's mouth.

Height of technical thinking... A software person falling from the roof of a building and shouting F1 F1 F1 instead of help help......!!

Doc & engg loved d same girl. Engg before going out of station for a week gave 7 apples to the girl. Why? B'coz an apple a day keeps doctor away

 

 

Love / Friendship Quotes 7

Friendship is vast like Universe, deep like Ocean, high like Sky, strong like Iron, kind like Mother, cute like Me, and sweet like U!

Making a million friends is not a miracle, the miracle is to make a friend who will stand by you when millions are against you.

When i was walking alone, I wished that i can reach da end of da road.. But when u r walking with me, I wish the road never ends.. Friend's forever..

FEW RELATIONS IN EARTH NEVER DIE.. Take first letter from each word of the above said statement & then u will get that unique word... FRIEND

Heart beat are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams r endless, memories are timeless and a friend like u is Useless. Oops! Sorry Yaar, Priceless

Every morning when I open my eyes I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like u.Why should only I suffer!

Friendship is not a big fire which burns all day. Its a small lamp, that burns till the last day of life.

As I saw ants crawl up the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop and communicate with each other. I hope we can be like them.

"Those are the same stars, and that is the same moon, that look down upon your brothers and sisters, and which they see as they look up to them, though they are ever so far away from us, and each other."

Friend is one, who (F)inds you in a (R)ush of people, (I)nspires you to do something in life, catch your (E)motions and (N)ever leaves you till (D)eath.

Sweetness can be defined without honey. Fragnance can be defined without Rose. But, friendship can't be defined without YOU

If ur friendship be money, I'll be richest man. If ur friendship be pounds, I'll be heaviest man. If ur friendship be luv, I'll be luckiest man. But ur friendship is trust & I'm the happiest man

Medicines and friendships cure our problems. The only difference is that friendships don't have an expiry date.

Feeling of love + Moment of caring + Small small sharing+ Stupid fights+ Shoulders 2cry +2b 2gether in pain Creates a miracle called FRIEND.

Friends are like street lights along the road,They dont make the distance any shorter. But they light up the paath,And make the walk worth while

Love / Friendship Quotes 6

Friendship is a language spoken by heart... not written on paper, not given by pledge... it is a promise renewed every time we meet. Keep in touch.

Hold a true friend with both your hands; don't let go for true friend comes once in a lifetime. That's why I’m holding you tight! Can’t let you go

Good friends care for each other. Close friends understand each Other. And true friends stay forever beyond words, beyond time.

We smile at whom we like, we cry for whom we care, we laugh with whom we enjoy & we become angry with whom we feel is our own. That's Friendship, that's Love

Whenever I look at my palm, I wonder which of those tiny cute crisscross lines made me so lucky to have a sweet & nice friend like U.

tree can start a forest; 1 smile can start a friendship; 1 touch can show u care; 1 friend can make life worth living for.

When i was walking alone, I wished that i can reach da end of da road.. But when u r walking with me, I wish the road never ends.. Friend's forever..

If luck is a raindrop, I wil; send u a shower. If hope is a minute, I ll send you an hour. If happiness is a leaf, I ll give you a tree. If u need a friend, u already have me.

Leave SOMETHING for friend.. Never Leave FRIEND for something.. coz in life, SOMETHINGS will leave u but FRIENDS will always live with u..

Every morning when I open my eyes I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like u.Why should only I suffer!

As I saw ants crawl up the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop and communicate with each other. I hope we can be like them.

Ice is a cream, luv is a dream but r friendship is evergreen. Don't make friends bfore understanding & don't break a friendship after misunderstanding.

Friend is one, who (F)inds you in a (R)ush of people, (I)nspires you to do something in life, catch your (E)motions and (N)ever leaves you till (D)eath.

I can’t find a reason why God gave U to me, but that is not the question to b asked; May b the question is how did God knew that I needed a friend like U.

1 Advice- Don’t change, 1 request- take care, 1 wish- Don't forget me, 1 Lie- I hate U, 1 truth- I Miss U, 1 hope- We'll always be Gud Friends.

Love/ Friendship Quotes

The recipe of friendship: 1 cup of sharing.2 cups of caring.3 cups of forgiveness & hugs. Mix all of these together to make friends 4ever.

Smiles 'n' Tears, Giggles 'n' Laughs, Late nite calls 'n' Cute fotographs, ill b rite here till da day of ma death best friends forever till ma very last breath!!

stars have 5ends, squares have4 ends, triangles have3 ends, lines have2 ends, life has1 end, but i hope our friendship has no end

On a silent night when friend r few, i close my eyes and fink of u, a silent nite, a silent tear, a silent wish,dat u were here

Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

sum friends e worth bein thrown,sum r good 2keep,sume r 2 b treasured 4ever;i think u r the one 2 be thrown in the treasure box 2be kept 4ever

Friends are the angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

True friends see you true, believe in things u wanna do, feel glad when ur dreams come true, best of all they don't judge, they simply love u coz you r you.

We are close enough to tell each other what we feel about our relationship. I can sum up our relationship in those three words: You are Lucky.

A true friend is not like the rain which pours & goes away. A true friend is like the air. Sometimes silent but always around u.

God has given us two gifts; One is choice & another is chance. Choice is to select a good friend & chance is to have a best one like you.

The words that escape a friend's mouth are: I'll be there when you say you need me. But the words that are unheard from a true friend's heart r: I'll be there... whether u say u need me or not.

If time slips away without a word from me, you don't have 2 worry about our friendship becoz feelings, beyond words, will always keep me AROUND!

Friends r like the walls of a house. Sometimes they hold u up, sometimes u lean on them. But sometimes, it’s enough to know they are just standing by.

Friendship is needless, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

Love/ Friendship Quotes 4

When friendship is deeply rooted, it is a plant that cannot even be uprooted by a storm....

Good friend hard to find harder to leave impossible to forget

One stone is enough 2 break a glass,1 sentence is enough 2 break a heart,1 second is enough 2 fall in love & one friend is enough to spend a life

If i get ur smile,i dont need flowers,if i hear ur voice i dont need music,if u speak to me i dont need anybody,if u r my friend i dont need the word "miss u "

The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might make other people happy.

Last night sky says to me. why u not leave ur friend because he don,t call or sms u. i replied can u leave ur moon when he not shines

If kisses were water i'd give u the ocean if hugs were leaves i'd give u a forest if love were space i'd give u a galaxy if friendship were life i'd give u mine for free

I have pen which is blue, I have a frnd which is u. Flowers will die, water will dry but our friendship will never say goodbye

Friends r angels that come from above.sent by god 4 me 2 luv.so wen u r lonely sad n blue remember ill be there for u!

Life can be hard & not always fun.But as night brings dark mornin brings sun.Wen life gets tough & no1 seems 2 care.Give me a call coz I'll always b there!

One day LOVE asked FRIENDSHIP y r u in the world when i'm here?FRIENDSHIP smiled n said "TO SPREAD SMILES WHERE U LEAVE TEARS."

Sum1 sum where dreamz of ur smiles & whilst thinking of u says life is worthwhile.so wen ur lonely remember its true.that sum1 sum where is thinking of u.

There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats d gift of a wonderful friend like d friend dat i have in u!

"In ur darkest hour wen ur fed up & blue.just remember this I'll always be there 4 u.Im no angel N cant change ur fate.but I'll do anything 4 u coz ur my friend."

A GOOD FRIEND ISLIKE A 'COMPUTER''ENTERS' UR LIFE.'SAVES' U IN DA HEART.'FORMATS' UR PROBLEMS.'SHIFTS' U 2 OPPORUNITY & NEVA 'DELETS' U 4RM DA HEART

Love/ Friensdship Quotes 3

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Friensdship Quotes 2

 

True f'ship never fades with time :-) becomes more tasteful like old WINE ::)) only a friend can understand words and convert the rolling tears into a smile!

Keep the lamp of friendship burning with oil of love, bcos sun rises in east and sets in west but friendship rises in HEART and sets after DEATH

I may not be the "Perfect Friend" That U R looking for... not even the "BEST" among them all... But surely I'm a friend who always care for... YOU...

Friendship is a little more trust, a little less try, a little more laugh, a little less cry, a little more luv, a little less fight a little more WE & a little less I

Plants are green and earth is blue, why ur so nice to me i want a clue, whatever may be the reason like u, b'coz in world like this i will never, get a friend like you

Ive made so many mistakes in my life, but something I did right was to have you as a friend and I definitely wont make another mistake of losing someone like you.

Flowers means honey...,honey means sweet... Sweet means desire ...,Desire means Love...,Love means Friend...,Friend means U sweet sweet…

I made a list of my dearest persons but wrote them by PENCIL included your name but wrote it with PERMANET INK Coz i have decided 2 keep you.as a friend.

What is trust ?? Trust is a feeling that a one year child has , when you throw him in air and catch again , and he enjoys it

Looks may capture the eyes but it’s the personality that captures the heart

You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see. but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

“Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.”

“why is it when you love someone so much that you can never find the right words to tell them?”

“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.”

“The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love”

Friendship Quotes

Each day with someone new, I do look and never find another you, world is full of people, I know its true, Yet no one could ever equal the FRIEND I found in YOU.

Old Friends are Gold, New friends are Diamond, if you get diamond, dont forget the Gold because to hold a diamond, you need a base of Gold.

My Friendship means a little heart that never hates, a cute smile that never fades, a smooth touch that never shakes, and a strong relationship that never breaks...

I cant find reason y GOD made u close 2 me, but thats not question 2 be asked. May be question is : How did HE know I needed a FRIEND lik U.?

As I watched ants crawled up the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop and communicate with each other, hope we will be like them, be in touch always...

We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU WILL NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there as a friend!

6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND

always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.

Many ppl will wlk in and out of ur life.but only tru friends will leave foot prints in ur heart. . . . .u left urs in mine -

A very special m8 of mine.in my heart all da time.to c u wiv a happy smile makes my life feel worthwhile.warm & carin ur feelins true.im glad i av a m8 like u!

Dream a dream 2nite as u sleep.smile a smile 2morrow that u may keep.may all of ur dreams and wishes come true cause i could`nt find a better friend like u!

Friendship is like rose, looking at it easy but reaching at it is full of obstacles.

Uve touched my heart uve touched my soul.bcos of u I now feel whole.U'll always b my closest friend.u'll b in my heart 2 the very end.

like a fallen star u fel into my life.u made me smile wen thingz werent rite..if hugz were water id send u the c.n sail away 4eva jus u n me.

SMS Joke 4

 

A Gujju boy fillin an application form Gets confused n asks dad:whats MOTHER TONGUE ?dad said: VERY LONG.

Wats d Diff btwn own Wife & Other's Wife..??Own Wife is CHOCLATE can have Any Time..Other's Wife is like ICECREAM should have Immediately

Teacher : "Can anybody give an example of CO INCIDENCE?". Sardar : Sir, my mom n dad married on the Sameday, Sametime.

A pregnant lady goes to astrologer.He says when the baby Will deletered baby's father will die.The lady says oh thank god my husband is safe

Written on the front side of a Girl's T shirt: "I am a Virgin " ... On the back "This is an Old T shirt "..!

A sardar was always teasing his wife "Teen bachon ki maa". One day she got angry & teased him back "ek bache ka baap

Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

2 sardar soldiers captured a pakistani, gave him dice & said, if u get 1,2,3,4,5 V'll kill u! paki asks: 6 aya to? sardars: Then, throw again..

Height of kanjoosi: A Sindhi's house has caught Fire & he is giving Missed Calls to the Fire Station..!

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

Q: If a Devil catches your wife, what will you do? A: You can do nothing...if the devil has done the MISTAKE, he has to face the CONSEQUENCES!!

LAST NIGHT SHE CAME TO MY BED,LAYED ON MY BODY,TOOK LIQUID FROM MY BODY AND GOT SATISFACTION .SHE WAS A MOSQUITO

when u kiss an american girl she says kiss me hard,when u kiss a british girl she say kiss me slow,but when u kiss an indian girl she says kisay nu na dasi

There are Three Scientist Come together to Make AeroPlain 1 from U.S.A. 2 from Japan & 3 from India. The American Scientist arranged for Necessary Raw Materials Then Japanis Scientis Assembeled the Plain At Last Indian Scientis paint on the plain i.e Made in India

 

SMS Joke 3

Joke 4

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery . wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Thief : quickly hand over your purse I have a gun Lady : here take it Thief : ha! ha! no bullets in my gun. Lady : ha! ha! no money in my purse

Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B. Ok A. A white horse fell in the mud

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the Police officer. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying for years."

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife

Why there are always two cops in a car patrol ? A: In case the siren won't work, one of them to scream "Wouuuu-Wouuuuu" and the other - "Blue, Red, Blue, Red, Blue, Red.."

What do you call a letter delivered from a chimney? A. Black mail

Teacher: Sonu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Sonu: No, teacher, it's the same dog

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27 She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailor? A. A jeweler sells watches whereas a jailor watches cells!

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."

The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."